We have a winner

We have a winner

Diabetic Investor is constantly searching for ground breaking diabetes research, research that just might one day help the millions of patients with diabetes achieve better outcomes. This quest for quality research has taken Diabetic Investor to some very interesting areas. Who could forget that ground breaking research that indicated a correlation between a woman’s breast size and diabetes? Or how about research that showed a correlation between alcohol consumption and diabetes? Given the epidemic growth rate of diabetes and the fact that nearly two-thirds of patients with diabetes are not properly controlling their diabetes, it should surprise no one the vast of research being done, some of which actually helps patients with diabetes and the physicians that treat them.

Yet with increasing frequency we’re seeing research that adds nothing to the debate and seems to be done just so that some researcher or research group gets some publicity. There was a time when Diabetic Investor actually offered a reward for anyone who came up with the dumbest research done to date. Frankly it would have been easier to find research that was actually relevant to the debate than choose from the hundreds of worthless studies that did nothing more than make people laugh. Not that Diabetic Investor is opposed to a good laugh now and then; we just happen to believe that the money spent on these worthless studies could be better spent on research that actually helps patients.

Today, however, is a watershed moment in stupid research and we’re sad to report it comes out of the University of Illinois (Diabetic Investor’s Alma Mater). According to researchers at this once distinguish institution of higher learning driving a car can lead to obesity and obesity leads to diabetes. “When you are sitting in a car, you are doing nothing, so your body is burning the least amount of energy possible,” said Sheldon Jackobs, who led the study. “And if you are eating food in your car, it becomes even worse. If you look over the last 60-plus years, the automobile has become our primary mode of transportation. It is that energy imbalance that ultimately may lead to obesity.”

Although Diabetic Investor does not know Mr. Jackobs, we suspect he, along with his team, meet at Kam’s (a famous Illini drinking establishment, occasionally frequented by Diabetic Investor) and during Happy Hour decided to do come up with world’s dumbest research project of all time. As we noted earlier this is not an easy task given the many idiotic research projects covered by Diabetic Investor. Still let’s give the Illini credit for coming up with this absolutely worthless research; something we actually thought would have come out of Harvard or Yale.

Prior to this research many in the great state of Illinois believed their beloved University of Illinois, was one of the better public colleges in America. Other state schools such as Northern Illinois and Southern Illinois were looked down upon and Southern in particular was considered the states party school. Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that this research came out of Illinois as the state once known as the Land of Lincoln, now has more ex-governors in jail than the Chicago Cubs have World Series appearances.

What’s even more astonishing here is that some professor actually had to approve this project before it began and someone else had to fund it. Although it’s been some time since Diabetic Investor attended the university we suspect that another Illini tradition, Hash Wednesday, is alive and well at the university. This is the only plausible explanation as to why any professor, someone who is supposed to know better, actually approved this project. This same professor also approved another ongoing study which is examining the correlation between Illini students experiencing the munchies and diabetes; a study that had no trouble recruiting participants and actually had to turn away many very eager volunteers.

First we lose our beloved Chief IlliniWek to the PC crowd and now this. This is truly a sad day for the Orange and Blue.