Time to spice things up a little
Yes another earnings season is upon on us which basically means Diabetic Investor has to get up way too early and listen to some incredibly boring corporate speak. Yes there are companies who report in the afternoon which creates a different dilemma. Do we listen or miss out on the drink specials at our local gin mill? We could get truly creative and do both which really isn’t a bad idea as nothing goes better with corporate speak than an ice cold Miller Lite. Heck we can really have fun and do a shot every time a glucose monitoring company mentions competitive bidding or when a drug notes how difficult pricing has become.
Yet we have an even a better idea which is also much safer, end the corporate speak and actually tell the truth. Wouldn’t it be great for example if Pat Sullivan from Insulet (NASDAQ:PODD) said something like this – “Folks as you know things here at Insulet haven’t been going too well. Basically I was brought in to clean up a huge mess which was largely created by the previous management team. A team which I should add was really good at screwing things up. You also know that I have basically replaced everyone from that team in an effort to turn things around. Granted these new people know nothing about diabetes but then again they can’t be any worse then who they replaced.
Now at this point you just might be thinking that since I have no one left to throw under the bus, that I can no longer blame the old team for how we’re doing what I plan to do now. Well to be honest I have no idea. Obviously selling the company would be an ideal solution but do you realize how hard it is to sell a company as screwed up as we are. This being the situation I have decided to do what Insulet has always done – sell the sizzle when there is no steak. Yes I know you’ve heard this in the past but maybe just maybe this will buy me enough time to get things turned around and actually sell this company.”
Or wouldn’t it be great to hear Abbott (NYSE:ABT) or Roche to say something like this- “Folks we know you’re getting a little tired of hearing about how bad things are in the glucose monitoring market. Yes we know that Johnson and Johnson (NYSE:JNJ) is killing it and we can’t compete. We also know that nothing we do technology wise will change anything. The fact is we had our chance and we blew it.
Now we had hoped since Panasonic/KKR was dumb enough to buy Bayer’s unit that someone would come along and buy our unit. Well so far we have nothing good to report on this front which basically means we’re going to be stuck with this dog of a unit for a while. Yes we know this is not what you wanted to hear but then again who wants to enter a market which is circling the bowl and is about to get flushed down the toilet.”
Even better wouldn’t it be great to hear Olivier Brandicourt say something like – “As everyone knows I have only been CEO at Sanofi (NYSE:SNY) since early April and let me tell you had I known how bad things were around here I would still be at Bayer. But then again I’m getting paid a boatload of money so I might as well see if I can stop the Titanic from sinking. Heck if I even come close I’ll be hero and if I fail they’ll find another sucker to take my place.
Now I know everyone is wondering what I’m going to do with our diabetes franchise. Well what I would like to do is dump Afrezza, slash the sales team and bring in a new management team. However my good friend and wine drinking buddy Serge Weinberg believes Afrezza will be just fine, that our sales force should be expanded and why bring in new management since Sanofi never holds anyone accountable.”
Now we know we’ll never hear the truth as much as we would like to, frankly this would be like expecting a straight answer from a Presidential candidate. And just for the record Diabetic Investor is not seeking the nomination although given the growing number of candidates on the Republican side we should just for grins and giggles. Yet we digress.
Nope this earnings season will be another series of boring calls filled corporate speak and enough manure to fertilize a 1000 acre field. Bummer….