This isn’t a joke although it could be

This isn’t a joke although it could be

Every now and then we’ll read a study and think wow that’s the most useless piece of information ever. We’ll shake our heads, and we seem to be doing a lot of that lately, and wonder why someone wasted time and money to find out something that adds no value whatsoever. Yet every now and then we are truly mystified by a study that is so stupid, so useless that it deserves extra special recognition. Just the other day we ran across such a study. So, take your seats ladies and gentlemen and get ready.

A new study revealed that women whose babies are conceived in winter are more likely to develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy.

Yep a group of researchers wasted time and money to find this out. Information that has no value whatsoever. Information that will lead to what—

Seriously this must be one of the all-time stupidest studies ever. Dumber than correlating a woman’s breast size to diabetes or which wine has a greater impact on diabetes. Heck at least those studies have some redeeming value – well for the researchers anyway. And just in case anyone is wonder we still have not heard from Pfizer regarding our offer to hang in Napa and gauge the impact of various wines, Viagra and diabetes. We will also reiterate that we believe this study should be expanded to include sparkling wines, heck we’ll be in Napa anyway…. But we digress.

But wait we now have another study that comes in right behind the groundbreaking research on gestational diabetes. Another groundbreaking study found that black adults who smoke at least 20 cigarettes per day were more likely to develop type 2 diabetes compared with those who smoked one pack per day or less. Yep someone spent time and money to find out that smoking cigarettes is bad for a person’s health.

But we’re not done yet – another study found that exposure to air pollution at the place of residence increases the risk of developing insulin resistance as a pre-diabetic state of type 2 diabetes. Really, wow. Like a person can actually do anything about that. OMG this study found that air pollution can lead to some bad things – we can hardly contain ourselves.

So here you have three studies that tells us what? That have what redeeming value? That a woman shouldn’t conceive a child during the winter because she MIGHT develop gestational diabetes. That African American’s shouldn’t smoke. That air pollution is a bad thing.

We’re not sure what these people are smoking or drinking but it must be nice to get paid to do something that is absolutely worthless.

Now we know that it’s useless to get on our soapbox and again say that maybe, just maybe we should studies things that actually matter. That actually would add some value to the millions of patients with diabetes and the physicians who treat them. That maybe, just maybe these resources which are being wasted by these extraordinarily stupid studies can be better allocated elsewhere.

That if we are going to waste time and money let’s have some fun while we’re at it, which is why we will once again ask Pfizer or Lilly to fund our Napa study. As we noted before they do not have to pay us anything just pick up the wine tab and provide unlimited supply of Viagra or Cialis. Almost forgot lodging would be nice too given what this study is all about.

Seriously folks we are not making this up although we wish we were.