No it’s not April 1st

No it’s not April 1st

Over the years Diabetic Investor has become somewhat known for our annual April Fool’s post. Yes, we’ve had some good ones over the years and some much closer to reality than people would think. Yet every so often news comes along that looks like it should be an April Fool’s prank but sadly it is not. This is exactly how we felt when we read the following paragraph:

“Compared to smaller people, taller individuals carry lower risks for developing diabetes and cardiovascular diseases but higher risks for developing certain cancers, according to a new study. Findings suggest that height plays a role in disease-related mortality regardless of curbing factors and body fat mass.”

To be candid we really thought this was some sort of joke until we read even more as the study referenced in this story ( “The study was published in The Lancet Diabetes & Endocrinology journal on Jan. 27.”

Now we’re sure the authors of this study had good intentions and that they truly believed they were doing something useful. The same can be said for the authors who investigated the correlation between a woman’s breast size and diabetes, or those who investigated the impact of red wine and diabetes. As regular readers know we have long complained of the gender bias in these studies as researchers seem overly fascinated by the size of women’s breast and drinking red wine.

Heck we’re surprised that these researchers these have not conducted a study to investigate how women who have large breasts who also drink red wine do they have a greater or lower chance of developing diabetes. Think about the follow on studies as researchers can investigate which type of red wine has the greatest impact – something big and bold like the Prisoner or maybe something a little less bold and a lower price point like Saldo. Heck researchers can go crazy by looking into why white wine does not have the same impact, why is it a buttery chardonnay isn’t as healthy as a bold red.

Having been following this wacky world for 20 plus years we’ve seen our fair share of worthless studies. Studies just like this one which reveal worthless information. Even if the conclusion is 100% correct and taller people have a lower risk of developing diabetes but a higher cancer risk, what can they do about it. This in stark contrast to the correlation between a woman’s breast size and diabetes. Thanks to our good friends in plastic surgery woman can actually act on the conclusions of these studies.

Which brings up another possible study as researchers can investigate whether women with natural breasts have a higher or lower incidence rate than those who have had breast augmentation. In fact, Diabetic Investor is pretty certain that there will plenty of male researchers willing to take one for the team and donate their time to be involved in this study.

Given that the Valentine’s Day is coming and our belief that studies should not be gender biased let’s do another study for lady researchers. How about examining the correlation between the size of a man’s “equipment” and diabetes? Granted this is a sensitive subject for males and unlike a woman a male cannot surgically alter what they were given. So like so many of these studies no matter what the conclusion there really isn’t much a guy can do about it.

Tell you what I will leave it up to the ladies today. Send in your suggestions for what type of study you want to see and I’ll get it to happen. Listen given the money, time and effort wasted on so many other studies we don’t think we’ll have any trouble making this work. Yes, if there is one thing we can count in this wacky world is you just can’t this stuff up. Or as Momma Kliff used to say “no matter how hard people try real life is stranger than fiction.”