BIG news

Every so often we come across research that is so outstanding that we feel it’s our duty to share it with everyone. News that is so BIG that it should not go unnoticed. According to a study by the Department of Medicine at the Sir Ganga Ram Hospital (SGRH) in New Delhi and Moti Lal Nehru Medical College, Allahabad, people with BIGGER thighs were less likely to have diabetes. These findings were based on a “retrospective analysis” done on 1,055 patients at the SGRH from March 2013 to September 2016 and were published in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism.

This news is so BIG we’re just a little shocked it did not gain more attention. Granted this groundbreaking research may not be as sexy as other groundbreaking  studies which noted the correlation between the size of a woman’s breast and diabetes, which when you think of it can also be BIG news. Still this is BIG news and it deserves attention.

With the Olympics going on this news should come as a relief to speed skaters a group of talented athletes who have some very BIG and very strong thighs. It should also come as a relief to many of the curling teams as we’re HUGE curling fans and have noticed that curlers also have BIG thighs. In fact, we understand that some research is underway to determine the correlation between sweeping and diabetes.

We were somewhat saddened when we heard this BIG news if for no other reason than April Fool’s is a little more than a month away and with news this BIG how the hell can we write our annual April Fool’s post. Seriously we’re beginning to believe that everyone has gotten together to make writing this piece next to impossible. It’s a damn conspiracy.

Just what can we write this year that anyone would believe. We could write about investors pouring money into an insulin pump company that was going broke, has a CEO whose main talent is destroying shareholder value yet is rewarded by the company’s Board of Directors with a multi-million-dollar compensation package. Or we could write about a French company that dumped $250 million into a joint venture with a major player in Silicon Valley but as per usual has nothing to show for this investment.

Perhaps we could have written about a $300 “smart” insulin pen or apps that take pictures of food and calculate carbs. Or what about a major insulin pump company coming out with the coolest toy on the planet only to be unable to supply key components of this system. We could have written about yet another pharmaceutical company attempting to mix oil with water by entering the insulin pump market. Or what about the many insulin pump wannabes who want to have their heads bashed in by doing the same old thing and thinking this will beat the King of the castle.

Honestly, it’s getting depressing around here as we cannot fathom what we can write that would be as wacky as what’s already going on. We reached out to our good friend Loopy Lou for some advice and all he could say was good luck finding something. We figured maybe our outstanding wine consultant might have an idea but alias no luck their either.

We thought back to all the great advice we got from Momma Kliff and all we could think of is something she said a long time ago; “David there will come a point in your life when it appears the world around you has gone completely mad. Where it looks that everyone has lost it and that common sense, reason and logic do not apply. Don’t fight it my son otherwise you will risk not just going gray but going mad. The reality is your cousin Al has been right all along in that real life is stranger than fiction.”

Still we are a determined bunch and will not give up. The annual April Fool’s post is a tradition and as Tevye said in Fiddler on the Roof traditions tell us who we are and what we are about. So, matchmaker, matchmaker find me something I can write about.