Abbott Reports – More of the same

Abbott Reports – More of the same

It’s becoming difficult for Diabetic Investor to find words to describe the boredom that has descended upon the world of glucose monitoring. Listening to call after call has become an exercise in staying awake. It really doesn’t matter which company reports as they are all blending together and sound as if they just change the names but not the results.  This constant drumbeat of explanations of lackluster results is also the same. It’s the economy, its intensifying price pressure, its tougher competition- blah, blah and more blah.

Diabetic Investor has a suggestion for all these companies that would certainly make these boring calls at least bearable to listen to. Either come up with new and original ways to describe things or publicly acknowledge that the glucose monitoring business sucks right now and there really isn’t much they can do to change that. Granted it would be major news if any company was bold enough to publicly acknowledge the truth and say what everyone watching the industry already knows. So Diabetic Investor opts for the later suggestion and to help things along here are some ideas.

Rather than say sales are being hurt by the poor economy, shift the focus and tell investors that patients with diabetes are preoccupied with the upcoming mid-term elections or watching Dancing with the Stars. It would surly get a laugh if they said that patients are under the spell of a witch who using her mystical powers has told patients not to test or understands what a Supreme Court decision is.  

It would be even better if they followed politicians running for office and blame this sorry state of affairs on President Obama and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Yep that it’s, the reason growth in glucose monitoring has slowed to a crawl is ObamaCare. If we just kick these bums out of office, repeal healthcare reform all will be right with the world and things will go back to the way they were before healthcare reform. Only problem here is things were pretty messed up before healthcare reform came along, but let’s not let the truth get in the way of a creative explanation.

How about blaming this whole mess on global warming or even better China; there’s nothing better than blaming all your troubles on a foreign country most people know little about. Never mind that these companies are largely responsible for the mess they created, Americans just love it when they have an evil empire to blame for problems which by and large were created here in the good old USA.

Diabetic Investor understands that these companies must report results and that none of them will ever publicly admit they screwed the pooch, so why not have a little fun and make things entertaining. Given the button down nature of these companies why not hire the cast of Jersey Shore to make the announcements for them. They may not know a thing about diabetes or glucose monitoring but Diabetic Investor guarantees these earnings calls would no longer be boring.

Unfortunately it looks like Diabetic Investor will continue to drink even stronger coffee in an attempt to stay awake through these increasingly dull and boring calls. Things have become so bad that it’s not even enjoyable to make fun of companies like Roche- just kidding.